Wanting Too Much, Too Soon (4 Min)

We've all created wants and dreams at some point in our lives. We want a big house with a perfect view. We want nice cars and exotic vacations. Of course, we know that all these dreams won't come true without a bit of hard work. So we get to work. We brainwash and isolate ourselves from the real world, trying to focus on our goals. But have you ever wondered why, after doing all this, after working so hard for so long, we still can't seem to afford the things we want? What will it take, we ask!?!

On a trip back home to the US Virgin Islands, I visited a business associate and mentor I had known for six years. We had breakfast at one of his 'Built from scratch' Villas. He'd talked about his journey that began in 1976 when he chose the islands as his new home. He started by working as we all do, owned and sold a few restaurants, had a hand in Real Estate flipping, and presently, he continues to manage his successful retail stores, of 27 years, along with his two luxury vacation villas. He Travels the world when he wants, spoils his granddaughter, and shares light and wisdom with those in his path. I felt his relief while we gazed at the ocean from his balcony, and I could imagine how proud he must be for what he has built for himself. 

Now, I didn't come to the house to interview the guy. But the feeling I got the moment I opened the door, standing in a custom-built home filled with nothing but natural light and ocean breeze beating against my entire being, I couldn't resist the urge to ask my first question: "how did you do it." And as a fellow entrepreneur, I needed to add, "and what am I doing wrong?"

His response was all too simple. 

See, I was baffled because this guy is super old school. He has no paid Digital Marketing experience, does no form of advertising for any of his businesses, and does not believe in excessive discount sales! He doesn't post or socialize excessively online. What he does is: he works, reads, manages his businesses by the book, accounts for every penny, reaps the benefits of word of mouth, and engages with the right people face to face every day! That is his way of life!

His morning routine is as follows: He opens the windows to let the ocean breeze flow through the house. He then goes to the kitchen, reads his chosen book on his tablet over coffee, checks emails, manages villa tenants, and then heads off to check up on his retail stores when he's not taking his tenants out on his private boat to the British Virgin Islands.

The answer to how he built this well-sought lifestyle was simply this: set realistic goals.

See, he was now 71 and admitted that at the age of 34 (my age at the time of this conversation), he had none of what I'm witnessing today. He did own a few businesses here and there, but not the assets. He built his first villa ten years ago at age 61!

My mentor stated that he had never wanted anything specific, never set his eyes on specific prizes he couldn't afford at the moment, and never had luxurious dreams. He only knew how to work and understood how to make money.

Great experiences and quality real-life connections are how he got insight on ways to invest and multiply his money, and all of what I was witnessing were the results of years and years of building wealth.

This simple and super relaxing morning opened my eyes and mind to a new perspective on my entrepreneurial journey.

Seven years ago, I accidentally fell into entrepreneurship while working my Marketing career. When the opportunity presented itself, I didn't procrastinate on maximizing it. I did the work. But when I finally started seeing what real money looked like, I started wanting, craving and seeking out the things I couldn't yet afford. I became anxious, feeling like I needed to do more and more and faster! I heavily sought that imaginary final stamp of approval - 'SUCCESS'!

I've retrained myself to believe this: success isn't the 'final result' of hard work or the reward. Success is not the house, car, or vacations. Success is how well you perform during the process. This process then allows us to afford the things we want.

It is okay to want. But then we fall short in the 'wanting too much' 'too soon' pit. We set unrealistic timeframes to accomplish these wants and fulfill these dreams. We work endlessly and anxiously with no strategy. We make money but spend it on purchases that unknowingly keep us going backward vs. living life in its simplest form with a minimalist mentality. We talk more than we do and socialize behind a Phone screen with a bunch of strangers that consume our talents and give nothing in return. We compare our nows with their nows and put ourselves down or put unnecessary pressure on ourselves. We create a mess, and through the thickness of this mess, we lose focus and lack discipline and knowledge.

I walked away with this: Slow down and stop trying so hard. Patience will allow us to build, but anxious, untimely behaviors will keep us doomed. Set realistic goals as my newfound mentor advised, develop a strategy, and stick to it. That is when you will be deserving of the rewards and the stamp of approval for success because you've proven that you can handle the process. 

 xoxo Francheska Moreland

#entrepreneurship #business #goalsetting #financialplanning

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